Can't write. Can't read. Can't breathe. Don't know how I'm going to find another 10k to graduate. Don't know how I'll find the money for post-grad studies. Don't know what I'm going to do when I graduate. Don't know. Don't know. Dontknowdontknowdontknow. Not the end of the world, I guess, but I want plans and goals and something to strive towards. I'm a procrastinator by nature. I'd much rather be in a comfortable chair reading something than sitting down and working towards the only thing I know I can do: write.

I don't know how James Patterson does it (Well, I do actually... he hasn't written his own books for years. Definitely not someone to strive to be.)

I just... want. And I feel like, with the one obvious exception in Boyfriend, I have no support system to get me where I want to be. To what I want to do. I am Lost. With a capital L. God, I wish for the days of high school, when it was all so easy.

All I want is something I can be proud of.